Coulter is a dunce…

Yesterday, Ann Coulter posted an article about America’s pastime of “hating soccer.”  Saying that America’s growing interest in soccer is a sign of “moral decay” is ridiculous.  Here’s a baseless claim!  Saying you agree with Ann Coulter on anything is a sign of intellectual impotence (sorry, Jessica…).  That’s true ’cause I said it is…

In any case, it’s been a while since I posted.  To that, all two of you who still read this archives of this blog should thank Ann Coulter for that.  She awoke a sleeping giant that understands what he’s actually talking about when it comes to the game of football – yes, football.  So let’s take a look at some of her ridiculousness in depth.  I don’t want this to be misunderstood – football (soccer) as a sport in the United States isn’t what American football is.  Nobody is making that claim.  But, to make the claims that Coulter does…ha, well, that just takes a special kind of delusion that only she can pull off.  Onto the facts…


 

CLAIM:  There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child’s fragile self esteem is bruised…do they even have MVPs in soccer?

FACT:  Uhhh, yes.  First off, a slew of annual individual awards are dished out by the various leagues and organizations around the world.  The Ballon D’Or?  The worldwide soccer MVP – no other sport has that.  The EPL has players and media both vote on individual player awards.  Furthermore, players get benched all the time for poor performances.  Remember Landon Donovan?  Yeah, the big news he wasn’t selected for the USMNT and there were no apologies for it.


 

CLAIM:  Liberal moms like soccer because it’s a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys.

FACT:  I’m yet to see evidence that she’s ran onto a soccer pitch…ever…she spends most of her time writing useless drivel and sucking down coffee and diet cokes.  Furthermore, she’s just flat out wrong.  Could you imagine Prince Fielder running up and down the pitch?  Soccer athletes run an average of seven miles per game – seven miles in ninety minutes, a pace that amateur runners would find to be good in a half marathon.  Oh yeah, American football (and I’m calling it American football) players can expect to only move in action for about 11 minutes – of a sixty minute game.  Plus, how many steroid scandals have there been in the last ever in football?  This isn’t to say that there aren’t athletes in other sports, but it does say there are athletes in football.


 

CLAIM:  Even in football…there are few scoreless ties – and it’s a lot harder to score when a half-dozen 300 pound bruisers are trying to crush you.”

FACT:  “No other ‘sport’ ends in as many scoreless ties as soccer.”  << Her words, not mine.


 

CLAIM:  “The prospect of personal humiliation or major injury in required to count as a sport.”

FACT:  If these don’t disgust you, I don’t honestly know what will.


 

CLAIM:  “Baseball and basketball present a constant threat of personal disgrace.”

FACT:  Yes, and it’s usually because they’re using performance enhancing drugs or appearing in the police blotter.


 

CLAIM:  “In hockey, there are three or four fights a game — and it’s not a stroll on beach to be on ice with a puck flying around at 100 miles per hour.”

FACT:  Actually, Ann, there are less than 1 fights per game and really haven’t been higher than 1.3.  Nice job on your research.  Oh, and for the record, soccer balls with greater surface area and less density travel at a pretty high rate of speed.  Science says that’s pretty impressive.


 

CLAIM:  We don’t have to be endlessly told how exciting (American) football is.

FACT:  Apparently you’ve never watched the Baltimore Ravens play the Cleveland Browns…


 

CLAIM:  “It’s foreign…one group of sports fans with whom soccer is not ‘catching-on’ is African-Americans.  They remain distincly unimpressed by the fact that the French like it.”

FACT:  I’m unimpressed with the fact the French like it.  I’m impressed with the fact that fat lazy bastards don’t play it because they have to move for more than 11 minutes a game.  That said, African-Americans remain unimpressed with NASCAR (a very, very American sport), but I don’t see her complaining about that national pastime.

But, let’s talk about that “foreign” aspect a little bit more.  All American based sports leagues have salary caps of some sort (baseball has a luxury tax for rosters worth more than a certain amount), collective bargaining, strong players unions — all of which this “European” game don’t have.  Teams are equaled out by revenue sharing.  The Pittsburgh Pirates didn’t even have to win games to be a successful business.  Talk about mediocrity being rewarded.

That said, European teams who overspend routinely have to enter administration (a.k.a., bankruptcy) and financially and competitively suffer because of it.  Player contracts are routinely bought and sold at a negotiated market value.  There are no salary caps.  There is no revenue redistribution.  Ann Coulter is a communist.


 

CLAIM:  “Soccer is like the metric system.”

FACT:  The box where the goalie is able to use his hands is measured 18 yards, dunce.


 

CLAIM:  Soccer is not “catching on.”  If more “Americans” are watching soccer today, it’s only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy’s 1965 immigration law.  One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.”

FACT:  Well, I’ll say this – nobody makes the claim that football is America’s pastime.  Nobody.  However, to say the game hasn’t grown in the United States is a completely ridiculous statement.  Major League Soccer is an established league in the United States that averages more fans per game than the NHL and NBA.  Over 3 million boys and girls are registered players with US Soccer. It is catching on, becoming more popular, and widely supported as a sport.

 

Football Tidbits – September 12, 2013

England Don’t Like Racists Who Aren’t Racist

As a Tottenham Supporter, I’m proud to be part of the Yid Army.  I’m not going to pretend I have this deep history as a supporter – I started supporting the team initially because I really hate Arsenal – but I won’t deny I’m a small part of that history, regardless of how small it is.  Much larger than me, Tottenham Hotspur were historically the club that London’s Jewish community identified with.  While others would mockingly refer to Jews as Yids, they embraced it with the club in a mocking fashion (similar to the way Americans embraced “Yankee” during the Revolution).  Of course, this isn’t without some degree of controversy, but when someone supports scummy, dirty Chelsea and criticizes it, in my mind the criticism only bolsters the historical tradition by Spurs supporters.

Against that backdrop, the FA (England’s governing authority for football) warned those that use they term they could be subject to criminal prosecution and banning orders.  You read that right – you could be dubbed a criminal and banned from supporting your club – for simply using a term that has been adopted by the community of that very club.

Racism in European football is a very, very real problem.  I don’t think this is one such problem.  Considering the FA’s track record of picking coaches and a woefully underperforming national squad, I don’t think it’s to be trusted on this issue.

The United States is Brazil Bound

Tuesday night the United States Men’s National Team dominated the Mexican team.  Good.  In what has become routine in Columbus, OH, the Mexicans simply didn’t have it in them to compete.  That said, they apparently didn’t have it in them to compete against Honduras in Mexico City, and I think we might be witnessing a squad incapable of qualifying for even the playoff game against New Zealand.  But I digress…

Our national team showed some very solid pieces.  I’m not a big fan of Eddie Johnson, but he looked good against the team.  More importantly, I think Diskerud showed the promise of our up-and-coming squad that will need to fill in the gaps for Dempsey and Donovan after this World Cup.  Even more impressive than that is the support that we as a country are showing for our national team.

Football (futbol/soccer) is the only true sport that is global in my mind.  Rugby is limited in its global impact, much the same as cricket.  Given the fact that our football players are over 300 pounds and collide with the force of trucks in a headon collision, I don’t exactly envision and bunch of Frenchmen competing successfully (remember, they tried that with the NFL Europe).  I love that the United States will be well represented on the pitch and in the stands at next year’s World Cup.

Peyton Manning = God

Seven touchdowns.  About 450 yards passing.  Peyton Manning.  Enough said.  The defense played pretty well, too, considering some major starters were out of the game.  We pretty much just threw a beatdown to the Ravens.

Prediction – We go 14-2, win the Super Bowl, and Peyton Manning joins the list of demigods that are past Denver Broncos – Elway, Davis, Mecklenberg, McCaffrey, Jackson.

All we can do about Brazil is shake our head…

As a huge fan of international soccer, the beautiful game is fun to watch when tournaments like the Confederations Cup is taking place.  The world’s best players to participate in this tournament, despite being open to teams like Tahiti (who allowed twenty-four goals in three games) and only 8 total participating.  Brazil is always an amazing squad, Spain’s international dominance continues, and Italy has shown a resurgence in recent years.  That is what makes the stories of protests in Brazil so disappointing to read about.

The FIFA organization can only blame itself for these type of problems.  The organization is rife with corruption, and has been decrepit for years in this regard.  Prior to the award of the 2018 World Cup to Russia and 2022 to Qatar, reports of those countries highlighted risky endeavors and rated them very low when compared to countries like England, Japan, and the United States.  Admittedly, accusing the organization of corruption based on that instance alone is begging the question.  However, prior to the voting, the Sunday Times caught two Executive Committee members selling votes against England’s rivals in the bidding.  Sepp Blatter has been dogged by allegations that he bought votes in his first campaign for FIFA President in 1998.  Blatter acknowledges that votes were bought, but denies his involvement.

FIFA is not a worldwide empire, at least not in the sense of Exxon Mobil or Coca-Cola.  It does govern the worldwide administration of football, though, and manages the most watched sporting event on the planet.  That creates rife conditions for small-minded bureaucrats to control wide influence, and largely explains why Blatter essentially guided the World Cup to Brazil.  In 2006, Blatter wanted the World Cup in South Africa, but eventually lost out to Germany’s bid.  2010 was awarded to South Africa, though, and highlighted many of the negative impacts of placing the World Cup in a country politically and economically unready to host the event on the scale it requires.  However, Blatter’s insistence that “underserved” nations have a chance to host the world’s greatest international soccer competition created the condition that essentially forced the World Cup on Brazil.

Now comes Brazil, and the problems of 2010 are rearing their ugly head again.  It also highlights why the corruption of FIFA and bureaucratic ineptitude created the perfect storm that resulted in the protests were seeing in Brazil today.  It’s hard for a governing structure to rail against corruption when it is corrupt in its own dealings.  In other words, FIFA can hardly hold Brazil’s governing structures to account on corruption relating to stadium construction and other support services.  Just as importantly, FIFA cannot even begin to refuse placing the World Cup in a nation which wastes public dollars on other services when it has no legitimate foundation to make that decision.  So, FIFA’s own ridiculous rotation policy that invited corrupt governments to host this competition.  Brazil only exemplifies the worst possible outcome of this organization’s plans.  And make no mistake, corruption in government is what these protests are coming to correctly highlight:

Many protesters were not appeased by a prime-time television address Friday night by President Dilma Rousseff, who said that peaceful protests were welcome and emphasized that she would not condone corruption. She also said she would meet with movement leaders and create a plan to improve urban transportation and use oil royalties for investments in education.

“Dilma is underestimating the resolve of the people on the corruption issue,” said Mayara Fernandes, a medical student who took part in a march in Sao Paulo. “She talked and talked and said nothing. Nobody can take the corruption of this country anymore.”

On Saturday, protesters denounced congressional legislation, known as PEC 37, that would limit the power of federal prosecutors to investigate crimes – which many fear would hinder attempts to jail corrupt politicians.

Federal prosecutors were behind the investigation into the biggest corruption case in Brazil’s history, the so-called “mensalao” cash-for-votes scheme that came to light in 2005 and involved top aides of former President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva buying off members of congress to vote for their legislation.
Last year, the supreme court condemned two dozen people in connection to the case, which was hailed as a watershed moment in Brazil’s fight against corruption. However, those condemned have yet to be jailed because of appeals, a delay that has enraged Brazilians.

The beautiful game now has a black eye, and it’s something that could be avoided with real reform in FIFA and Brazil.  Most importantly, we that will be watching from the serenity of our own couches could be mindful of corruption in our own backyard and the impact it has on our lives.  After all, there might be a day soon when the World Cup comes back to the United States.  To hell with the World Cup, the Atlanta Falcons needed a new stadium…and will get one.

Football Tidbits – June 22, 2013

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Brazil apparently isn’t as soccer crazy as everyone may think:

Brazil awoke Friday to city centers still smoldering after a night that shocked the nation: 1 million protesters took to the streets in scores of cities, with clusters clashing violently with police during anti-government demonstrations.

This comes down to Sepp Blatter.  That turd had the idea that nations without the infrastructure in place to host a major international tournament deserved to host a major international tournament.  Brazil is the spiritual home of football, that much is true.  It’s also a second-world nation that needs to do more locally to develop the economy than has been done.  Reasonably, these protests wouldn’t take place if a government liberalized the labor market, significantly reduced taxes and tariffs, and helped alleviate poverty through economic freedom.

Then again, it’s Brazil.  It’s easier just to spend billions of public dollars on the Olympics and World Cup.

United States conquered by the Spanish:

Spain showed why it is favored to win the Under-20 World Cup by beating the United States 4-1 on Friday in its opener after doubles from star strikers Jese and Gerard Deulofeu.

Had to happen somewhere, right?

Paulinho is close to being a Yiddo:

According to ESPN Soccernet, Brazil international Paulinho, who has made an impression in this summer’s Confederations Cup, is believed to be closing in on a £17m move to White Hart Lane, with Corinthians director of football Edu confirming a deal is imminent.

Paulinho has played phenomenally in the Confed Cup thus far.  Goal scorers are what Tottenham needs, and an addition like him will do well for the squad.